Constance J. McGlasker
10 December 2007
EH 468-101
Dr. Alford
The Power of Nonverbal Communication: What Effect is Nonverbal Communication Having on Humanity and the Quality of Life in the Twenty-First Century?
Warfield identifies the advantages and disadvantages of nonverbal communication and the receivers’ responses to it, which has led me to question the effectiveness of nonverbal communication in today’s society. What makes nonverbal communication so powerful is everything that it entails such as dance, writing, music, media, and language.
Dance, the first form of nonverbal communication listed, is a way of expressing yourself without words using movement. Some people dance to the beat of their emotions as a form of therapy and release for both the dancers and the audience. As a creative artform crossing cultural barriers, dance is demonstrated through contemporary, hip-hop, modern dance, ballet, Latin, ballroom and swing dancing, dance aerobics, mime, praise dancing, and other genres of dance. As a praise dancer in dance ministry, I wear different color garments that carry different meanings. For example, I wear purple, which means royalty, red for the blood of Jesus, and orange for praise.
Writing, another form of nonverbal communication, is another way of expressing yourself. Some people write their emotions on paper, which can also be another form of therapy and release for both the writers and the readers. As another creative artform, writing entails songwriting, book writing in the forms of autobiographies, novels, fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and other genres of writing. In many cases, it is based on the authors’ and/or someone else’s experiences.
Music, which is also a form of nonverbal communication, is another way of expressing yourself. Some people play their emotions in songs, whether the tempo is upbeat or slow, as a form of therapy for both the instrumentalists and the listeners. Music is also another creative artform that is played in diverse styles such as jazz, gospel, rhythm and blues (R & B), contemporary, rock, soul, classical, rap, and others. Instrumental versions of songs are great examples of nonverbal communication because they create and send messages to listeners without words. Every listener will interpret the messages sent from the instrumental versions differently though the interpretations are derived from the same song.
Media, the next form of nonverbal communication, is another way of expressing yourself. Some people paint their emotions as a form of therapy for both the artists and the viewers. The media entails commercials, billboards, paintings, pictures, photographs, banners, flyers, and others. Media is one of the most powerful, influential artforms used by way of television, radio, film, advertising, and other forms of visual rhetoric—the way we interpret things visually—because of the message it puts out there to society whether interpreted correctly or misinterpreted.
This brings me to talk about language, another form of nonverbal communication used to express yourself. Language can symbolize anything. For example, semiotics—the study of signs and symbols—hieroglyphics, the Egyptian alphabet, body language, and others have a meaning behind them. Some people symbolize their emotions, which we notice in emails using emoticons such as happy and sad faces , . In a Marriage and Family (SY 220) lecture, Dr. McAdory stated, “Facial expressions are more powerful than your mouth.”
In The Art of Communicating, Warfield discusses nonverbal communication in this sense.
“Non-verbal communication is everything else BUT the words. It
includes many components including vocal qualities such as tone of
voice, as well as gestures, body language, accents and attitudes.
Significant communication can take place without a word being spoken.
The key to understanding non-verbal communication is to study its
roots. Babies in the crib cannot understand words but they quickly learn
to respond to voices and facial expressions. When we’re grown we
continue to read non-verbal communication at an unconscious level, not
even aware that we are analyzing and critiquing the other person for their
non-verbal message. How we choose to dress, how we talk, where we
live – all are examples of nonverbal communication. We can't help but
automatically process non-verbal cues as we communicate. How many
times have we "tuned someone out" because of some non-verbal
behavior that affects us. It might be someone's accent, their perceived
level of education or learning, their vocal qualities or some other
behavior - we always pay attention to it. By paying attention to how we
speak, how we look, how our voices sound, we can improve our chances
of attaining shared understanding. At the same time, consciously paying
attention to our reactions to other's nonverbal messages will give us more
information than we are getting by only attending to the
words...Remember that non-verbal communication is processed by each
of us almost unconsciously. By becoming consciously aware of
another’s tone of voice, posture, gestures, and facial expressions, we will
raise our level of understanding several notches.” (Warfield 1996-2007)
In Warfield’s text, he said, “Non-verbal communication is everything else BUT the words. It includes many components including vocal qualities such as tone of voice, as well as gestures, body language, accents and attitudes. Significant communication can take place without a word being spoken.” (Warfield 1996-2007) Nonverbal communication can be illustrated in marching bands when they play Broadway musical theme songs for Westside Story, Lion King, The Sound of Music, and others. Flag corps, winter guards, and dance teams often use movements instead of words to visually illustrate these theme songs with dance equipment such as flags, streamers, banners, and others.
“When we’re grown we continue to read non-verbal communication at an
unconscious level, not even aware that we are analyzing and critiquing the other person for their non-verbal message.” (Warfield 1996-2007) This is so true because we often judge a book by its cover all the time. “How we choose to dress, how we talk, where we live – all are examples of nonverbal communication.” (Warfield 1996-2007) These examples of nonverbal communication do not always define who we really are. For example, if I see a man walking across the street with a crimson t-shirt that says “Alabama Roll-Tide,” it does not necessarily mean that he is a fan of the Alabama Crimson Tide football team. Maybe crimson is his favorite color, or maybe he wishes to support Alabama because he himself could be an Alabamian.
It is funny how nonverbal communication can cause us to judge and make assumptions about people who we barely know. I had someone to tell me that they thought I was quiet and shy until they saw me dancing. Then they said, “She is not shy.” Warfield stated, “We can't help but automatically process non-verbal cues as we communicate. How many times have we "tuned someone out" because of some non-verbal behavior that affects us. It might be someone's accent, their perceived level of education or learning, their vocal qualities or some other behavior - we always pay attention to it.” (Warfield 1996-2007)
I have tuned people out several times because of nonverbal cues they communicated to me such as tone of voice, attitudes, and others. I also find myself tuning out negative thoughts whenever I want to achieve goals. Whenever a negative thought pops up in my mind, I replace it with a positive thought. I tend to use selective hearing when I choose to hear what I want to hear. By paying attention to our own nonverbal cues—body language, appearance, tone of voice, facial expressions—we will see progression in our chances of helping people to understand who we are. At the same time, we will gain understanding of other people if we are consciously attentive to the nonverbal cues that they communicate back to us.
In the Logic Review, Thumper discusses the accident that happened to Logic when she received a head injury caused by her falling from a tree (Thumper 2007). Because of this accident, she stopped verbal communication. She mentally became unconscious. Logic would use nonverbal communication such as laughing and humming. Her parents did not understand Logic’s nonverbal way of communicating. (Thumper 2007) Logic was unconsciously aware of what she was nonverbally communicating to her parents.
As Warfield stated, we can improve our chances of being understood by the receivers if we senders become attentive to how we project our body language—speech, appearance, tone of voice, and other types of nonverbal communication. The real challenge is being consciously aware of another’s tone of voice, posture, gestures, and facial expressions and having the ability to consciously and mentally process it all at the same time, using cognitive restructuring, renewing our minds and changing our thought patterns in how we perceive the other person’s mannerisms. This can be hard work.
There is a quote by Anne Frank in Logic that says, ““Go outside, laugh, and take a breath of fresh air,” a voice cries within me.” (Vernon 2004) This really stuck out to me because I can strongly relate to it. When Frank said, “Go outside”, I interpreted it as she was saying to go outside the box, go outside the norm, go outside your troubles, go outside the state that you are in, go outside your normal way of thinking, go outside the traditions, go outside the daily routine of life; step outside of this ordinary world, and do something different and extraordinary. Explore another world; get in the zone, in a trance; let yourself go, hang loose, and feel free.
When Frank said, “laugh”, I thought about the book of Proverbs when it says that laughter makes the heart merry. It is like medicine for the soul. When you are sick you take medication to get well. It is a form of healing for the mind, body, soul, and spirit.
When she said, “take a breath of fresh air”, I thought about relaxation, release, letting go, breathing, restoration, rejuvenation, refreshment, renewal, and revival. She ended the quote saying, “a voice cries within me.” Crying is a form of release. Sounds like there is a struggle to break free from bondage, poverty, pain, past hurts, fear, heaviness, people, or whatever it is that is possibly hindering her. If you take the quote and break it apart, you will notice that each part—“go outside”, “laugh”, “take a breath of fresh air”, “a voice cries within me”—is a form of nonverbal communication.
From my experiences, nonverbal communication can be beneficial in the worlds of music, free writing, and dance because it gives me freedom to express myself. I like music, free writing, and dancing. They are forms of healing for my mind, body, soul, and spirit. Even when I listen to music, dance, and free write, I get in my own world. This is my world of freedom where I can be free to be me and express my emotions.
Writing my emotions on paper calms me. It is soothing, and this is one of my escapes from pressures of the world. I get a sense of peace, joy, and fulfillment when I write. I get in a zone, trance, or in another world. My writing is unlimited, and there are no chains binding me when I write.
Nothing is hindering me or holding me back when I write. The pen dances to the beat of the writer.—I call this the dancing pen. The pen goes in the direction that the writer leads it. My mind is free when I put my thoughts on paper as I listen to soothing music that calms me. I feel burdens lift as I write my thoughts on paper.
Writing is an avenue of healing and therapy for me. I feel a sense of calmness, peace, release, relief, and quietness when I write. The same thing happens when I dance. Even when I dance, I am free to be me.
Another way nonverbal communication can be beneficial is through delivering positive messages in visual media, books, and song lyrics. One day as I was riding with my sister in her car on the interstate, I noticed a sign that had the word disability with the prefix dis crossed out with emphasis on the word ability. The message, as I interpreted it, was to look at the ability while looking beyond the disability. Instead of focusing on the problem, disability, what you cannot do, inadequacies, limitations, and weaknesses, look at what can be, the possibilities, and abilities. This is a powerful and awesome message that stood out to me.
I thought about what the spokesman for Jive Records said about the title of Britney Spears’s fifth studio album Blackout. He stated, “Blackout is about “blacking out negativity and embracing life”.” (Blackout 2007) Artists such as Stevie Wonder have blacked out negativity and embraced life by focusing their energies on the positive—abilities and strengths—rather than the negative—disabilities, weaknesses, and other setbacks. In spite of his blindness, Stevie Wonder has become a phenomenal singer and musician.
Moses and Jeremiah are examples in the bible that God used to fulfill His purposes, in spite of their limitations, disabilities, and inadequacies. God instructed Moses to return to Egypt and talk to Pharaoh about letting the Israelites go. Moses focused on his limitations, by stating that he is not a good speaker and stumbles when he speaks. God appointed Jeremiah as a prophet to the nations, and Jeremiah gave the excuse that he was too young to get the job done.
Tracy Daniels, author of In the Midst of It All, faced rejection ten times by different publishing companies, but today her books are sold on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com. Daniels did not give up and quit, but she persevered to get her book published. Failure is not failure when you get up and try again. Daniels got up and tried again.
R & B singer Aaliyah made a song years ago that says, “At first you don’t succeed. Dust yourself off and try again.” If you do not succeed the first time, you have a second chance or however many chances it takes for you to be successful. In these aspects, nonverbal communication can be beneficial in delivering positive messages.
While some forms of nonverbal communication can be beneficial, there are times when other forms of nonverbal communication can be unbeneficial. “Do you see what I’m saying?” is something that we often say and hear in conversations. Oftentimes what we senders say can be misread and unseen by receivers because people tend to make assumptions. This happens many times in email. When you send a message, which you intended to be seen and read as a nice and humorous message, the receiver may perceive it as a sarcastic, rude, and angry message depending on how it was written. I can remember when I took Writing in the Professions course from Dr. Beason. He told us to never write sentences in all caps when writing a letter of complaint or any type of business letter because the reader might think that you are screaming at them.
Even when text messaging, you have to make sure that the entire message and not a part of the message was sent to the receiver. If they only receive part of the message, it causes confusion. This happened to me when I text messaged a friend. When she received the message, she did not understand it because the entire message was not sent to her. So I had to resend the entire text message. When she received the entire text message, it made more sense to her.
Visual media such as billboards, photographs, flyers, paintings, sculptures, and others spark controversy and can be misread and misinterpreted by the receiver in the way the message is presented by the sender. For example, a sculpture of someone’s body without clothes is seen as art in the eyes of some receivers but as derogatory in the eyes of others. Another example is a photograph taken in 1937 by Margaret Bourke-White titled “Louisville Flood Victims”. In the photograph, there are black people waiting in line for food, standing in the cold next to what appears to be a billboard or wall painting of a white family in a car that says across the top “WORLD’S HIGHEST STANDARD OF LIVING, There’s no way like the American Way”. This photograph has sparked much controversy, and many have viewed it as a connection and foreshadowing of Hurricane Katrina victims. According to Artforms textbook, the photograph “confronts us with the brutal difference between the glamorous life promised in advertising and the reality that many face every day.” (Preble 161)
Warfield stated, “Examining the communication process is like putting your VCR on pause; you look at a frozen snapshot of a dynamic, unending process. You cannot not communicate unless you’re dead or unconscious; communication takes place-for bad or for good-when we’re trying and when we’re not.” (Warfield 1996-2007) Nonverbal communication is highly effective in today’s society, but we must be awakened and consciously aware of the message we are sending to the world.
Works Cited
Blackout (Britney Spears album). Retrieved Oct. 26, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackout.
Preble, Duane and Sarah, Frank, Patrick. Artforms: An Introduction to the Visual Arts.
Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson/Prentice Hall, 2004. p. 161.
Thumper. Logic Review. Retrieved Oct. 5, 2007 from
http://aalbc.com/reviews/logic.htm.
Vernon, Olympia R. Logic. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2004. pp. 3-249.
Warfield, Hal (1996-2007). The Art of Communicating. Retrieved September 4, 2007
from http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Warfield1.html.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Extra Credit Assignment
Constance J. McGlasker
7 December 2007
EH 468-101
Dr. Alford
Interview with Glenda Wallace, author of I Need Therapy
Constance McGlasker (CM)
Glenda Wallace (GW)
CM: Who is this on the book cover?
GW: It’s not me. The publishing company designed that cover. I had nothing to do with
it. I was just telling them what I wanted and this is what they came up with so I was happy, I was like yes, that’s it. That’s exactly what this book is about. That’s what I tried to do with this book. I’m sure you’ll love it.
CM: Have thoughts of being an author ever crossed your mind when you were a child?
GW: When I was a child what really came across my mind was just writing and I can remember being as young as 8 or 9. I had this big foot locker like the older people used to have back in the day. My mom had one she wasn’t using. When I was a kid I would read and write. That’s all I would do. I would write poems, short stories, lyrics, I thought I was going to be the next Janet Jackson, I would write lyrics to my own songs. I guess I always had that in me just wanting to write, trying to express myself with words, more so than anything. My mom used to always get to on me when I was a child, and during the summer when everybody else and all my friends were out having fun, being kids, I would be locked away in my room with my pen and pad. I would just be writing away. I used to keep everything in the foot locker, and I used to put my little combination lock on there so nobody else could get into it, but that is how I got into writing. I’ve been doing it ever since.
CM: Have you face rejection from other publishing companies?
GW: Well, I actually didn’t get into that stage because I chose to self-publish my book so I didn’t go through the traditional publishing houses, submitting your manuscripts through the traditional publishing houses, and from what I understand, you can face a lot of rejection. Therefore, I didn’t want to go through all of that. So, I chose to self-publish, and what I did was just did research. I went through and found someone. This was very important to me. My book was a very important project. I’ve been working on it for about 10 years. So I did my research, I went online, and researched the self-publishing companies, and I found someone who was going to put the most effort into my book, give me the most for what I’m looking for. So I think I’m quite pleased with the people who published my book and therefore so far I have not had to face that rejection yet.
CM: What motivated you to write and release I Need Therapy, and how has it changed lives?
GW: I Need Therapy started out as a journal, and when I started it out I didn’t intend to write a book. I didn’t intend for it to be a book, but it just came about that once I started doing research, talking to people, I started putting it into book form around 2000. I seriously started working on it between 2000 and 2002. What motivated me to go ahead and do it and finish it up was when Hurricane Katrina hit in August 2005, and at my job we were out of work for a year because they were going to renovate the casino from top to bottom. I took that year, I focused, and put it into my book. I completed it between 2005 and 2006. We went back to work in August 2006. My book is so newly released; it was just released in July of this year, and I get such satisfaction when I get emails and phone calls from people. I work at the casino at the Beau Rivage. I am a table games dealer, and I work from nine to five. I had a lady from Pensacola who purchased a copy of my book from me at the Sister to Sister Expo, [which was held at the Mobile Convention Center in September]. Actually, someone purchased it for her; so she didn’t actually purchase it herself; she was at the expo, but I didn’t get a chance to meet her. She came into my job, and she wanted her book signed. She came to me, and she said, “This book has really inspired me as a woman. I feel like every woman in the world needs to read this book.” I get such a sense of satisfaction when people come to me and say, “Wow! I really needed that. It helped me.” For me, when I started writing the book, it actually started out as a journal. I was going through so much in my past and when I was younger, dealing with relationships, love, finances, my health, I was going through so much. Some of the things I would put up with, and like I said, this book primarily deals with relationships, and at the time I was going through so much with relationships. I would always say to myself, “Man, I need therapy. I really need some therapy.” So I started keeping a journal, and I named my journal I Need Therapy. I felt that at the time, it was really important for me to document my feelings because as time went on, I grew and learned from that experience, I could look back and see where I had my growth. It was all documented. So, I feel like it is important to put your feelings on paper. I don’t care if it is just a thought or something. Put it down, write it down; you can always go back later and say, “Hey, I’ve grown from that. I’ve changed.” That’s what it did for me; so that was my therapy—my writing was my therapy. That’s how I came up with the book title I Need Therapy. So, I’ve been doing my research, everything that is in there. There is a lot that reflects about me, my past, things that I have gone through, lessons I have learned in life, but there is also lessons from other women because I have that motto—Women, we share a common bond. It doesn’t matter your race, background, how much money you make, we all go through some of the same issues, whether it is relationships, money matters, and health. So I feel that we as women should bond together. We can all learn from each other. We can learn something from somebody else’s experience, and that’s what this book is all about. At some point in time, we all need therapy. Therapy can be anything, whatever works for you, that can be your therapy. This is my first book, and I’m working on my second one. My second book is called Searching for Sanity. It is based off of the actual events that happened in I Need Therapy, but I go into details, I create fictional characters around the stories that are in I Need Therapy. It is amazing. I plan on having it done, completed, and published in Spring 2008. I’m actually finished up with everything. I just don’t want to push it too close to this project. I want to fully devote my time into promoting this one before I get out and start trying to promote Searching for Sanity. It’s good. It is a fiction novel.
CM: Has your level of writing changed from this project to the next one?
GW: I don’t want to be put in that category of being just an African-American writer or author. I try to be flexible and write what everybody can understand. No matter what your race, background, so you can understand. It is simple so everybody can understand it.
CM: What were the easiest/hardest parts about writing I Need Therapy and Searching for Sanity?
GW: The publishing process was fairly simple. The hardest part was getting it all together and just really focusing because sometimes I get to the point where I can write, I have this sperks where the only thing I want to do is just write. I don’t want to do anything else. I don’t want to read. I just want to write. I can write for 2-3 days straight with the exception of going to eat, doing the necessity things. I can get up, go feed my dog, and I’m right back on the computer. Things will just come to me. Then I will go through that phase where I get a burnout, and it’s like I can’t do this and it may be two or three months before I go back to it. It just comes in sperks. Since I published my book I have so many people come to me and say, “You know what? I started writing a book.” Everybody starts writing a book, but we never finish it. I started writing other books before, but I never finished it. So, I think the hardest part is just getting yourself focused and say hey, I’m going to do this; I’m going to complete it. This book was so important to me. The day I finished my last page, when I knew, hey, this is it, when that last paragraph went in I prayed and I cried and I said, “Lord, please let this book serve the purpose that I meant and wrote it for.” It was just like such a sense of relief that just came over me because I’ve been working on this for so long, and it was so important. It was the first, but it is the biggest project for me because I open up so much of myself in this book. I make myself so transparent in this book. It’s like hey there are some things in there. I said to myself, “Do I really want people to know this?” But in order for it to serve the purpose that I’m writing it for I have to tell it all. I have to open myself up and say hey, this is me. I talk about everything in this book. I talk about my experience with breast cancer. I love talking about my book. I love to talk about this book.
CM: As a currently single woman, have you faced criticisms from married couples after I Need Therapy was released?
GW: I don’t claim to know everything. I can only tell you about me, what I know, and what other people have told me. So, I’m not an expert, and I’ll say that to anybody. I’ve been married five times, and I’ve been divorced five times. In some cases, being in a situation like that you take a lot of criticism from some people who say How can she..., she’s been married five times...You take the criticism, but at the same time you have to know what you can and can’t deal with in your own home. For me, it’s always been easier to say hey, I feel like I’m not being treated like I should be treated. I’m not getting the respect in this situation that I should get. A lot of times a situation will start out one way will end up something totally different. So I can only tell you about my experiences and what other people tell me. I have been married and divorced five times. So I haven’t always been single, though I’m single now. One thing I believe in is life is too short to be in a situation where you’re not happy. If it comes to a point where I hear women say all the time, hey I’m sticking in there, I got to hang in there because of the kids. I don’t have any kids, and maybe if I did have kids I could probably see what they’re saying. Because I don’t have kids, I feel like I should get the same respect and treatment from you that I give to you, that I put into my marriage. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not without fault, and I’m not putting blame on anybody that I’ve ever been with or been married to. It takes two. I have my faults and weaknesses because I’m a little bit short on patience. So that may have had a lot to do with it, but I’m working on it. That is a weakness.
CM: Do you have any future speaking engagements or other upcoming events?
GW: I’m working on some things in my area now. I’m also working on doing interviews with a couple of magazines over in Jackson, Miss. I [recently] did a speaking engagement at the Lighthouse Apostolic Church in Grand Bay. They had a program for breast cancer awareness month, and I actually met the lady who coordinated it. I met her at the Sister to Sister Expo. She bought a copy of the book, and she asked me to come out and talk about the book and speak about my experience with breast cancer. I had a great time there. I just love getting out and talking to people and meeting people. I love it. It’s a lot of fun. You learn things about people because it’s like when people read my book and things that they may not have told anybody else, they feel free to open up to you and say hey I had my experience with this and I tried to hide it and I never wanted to talk to anybody about it because I was ashamed of it. Sometimes it helps to talk to other people. It really does.
CM: How has being an author and your works changed your life and the lives of others?
GW: I have been very fortunate to have a job that I enjoy as a part-time casino table games dealer. I work about three to four days a week from nine to five, making $50,000 a year. That gives me a lot of time to focus on my writing and myself to do other things I want to do with my writing and getting my work out there. I’ve been very blessed and fortunate enough to have a job where I can do that. I enjoy what I do because I meet a lot of people. Being an author is still new to me. It seems like everyday people start to recognize you. For example, I would have people who purchased a copy of my book outside of my area, and they would come through the casino just to meet me. It’s starting to be real big right now. I didn’t expect for it to be like this this soon. It’s great because people would walk up to you and say hey I like the chapter about [this and that], when you talked about this person, you were talking about me. It’s great. I love it. One of my original reasons for writing I Need Therapy was to encourage and educate women to make better decisions in their everyday lives, not just with their relationships but with their health and their financial matters. I think that it is important, especially for the younger generation of women to realize that the decisions that they make right now are going to have an impact on the person that they become later on in life. I can look back now and say hey I’m happy with where I am but I had to work so hard to get her because I didn’t have that education. I finished high school, went a year of community college, and dropped out. I decided to go into the military, this is what I’m going to do, and I’m going to make a career out of it. I went into the military, did that for about four to five years, and decided that wasn’t the right move for me. So when I got out, it was a little bit harder to get those good paying jobs. I had to sometimes take whatever just to pay the bills and make ends meet because you don’t always luck up and fall into a job. I’m blessed and fortunate right now that I did end up getting into the casino industry as a part-time casino table games dealer. I do quite well. I work about three to four days a week from nine to five, making about $50,000 a year, but it’s not easy. Had I went on and got my education, got a degree, maybe I wouldn’t have had to work as a sales clerk and take some of the abuse. I want women as well as men to know that the decisions that you make right now early on in your life are going to have an impact. You don’t think about it when you’re so young. You really don’t think what I do right now is going to impact me later. Sometimes we don’t think about that, and I didn’t think about that. Right now I wish I had taken that time, gone on and got my education so I wouldn’t have had to struggle and just take whatever is out there in order to pay the bills. That is the one thing that I think is really important. People often ask me, “How do you write like you do when you haven’t had any formal education in writing or anything like that?” I write from the heart. I write what I feel, and fortunately enough there are editors out there who can correct those little mistakes, but at the same time, I feel like education is a background. You really need that education, and from that you can pretty much do what you want. You have choices when you have that education, and when you don’t you’re limited.
website: www.glendawallace.com
email: glendawallace@glendawallace.com
7 December 2007
EH 468-101
Dr. Alford
Interview with Glenda Wallace, author of I Need Therapy
Constance McGlasker (CM)
Glenda Wallace (GW)
CM: Who is this on the book cover?
GW: It’s not me. The publishing company designed that cover. I had nothing to do with
it. I was just telling them what I wanted and this is what they came up with so I was happy, I was like yes, that’s it. That’s exactly what this book is about. That’s what I tried to do with this book. I’m sure you’ll love it.
CM: Have thoughts of being an author ever crossed your mind when you were a child?
GW: When I was a child what really came across my mind was just writing and I can remember being as young as 8 or 9. I had this big foot locker like the older people used to have back in the day. My mom had one she wasn’t using. When I was a kid I would read and write. That’s all I would do. I would write poems, short stories, lyrics, I thought I was going to be the next Janet Jackson, I would write lyrics to my own songs. I guess I always had that in me just wanting to write, trying to express myself with words, more so than anything. My mom used to always get to on me when I was a child, and during the summer when everybody else and all my friends were out having fun, being kids, I would be locked away in my room with my pen and pad. I would just be writing away. I used to keep everything in the foot locker, and I used to put my little combination lock on there so nobody else could get into it, but that is how I got into writing. I’ve been doing it ever since.
CM: Have you face rejection from other publishing companies?
GW: Well, I actually didn’t get into that stage because I chose to self-publish my book so I didn’t go through the traditional publishing houses, submitting your manuscripts through the traditional publishing houses, and from what I understand, you can face a lot of rejection. Therefore, I didn’t want to go through all of that. So, I chose to self-publish, and what I did was just did research. I went through and found someone. This was very important to me. My book was a very important project. I’ve been working on it for about 10 years. So I did my research, I went online, and researched the self-publishing companies, and I found someone who was going to put the most effort into my book, give me the most for what I’m looking for. So I think I’m quite pleased with the people who published my book and therefore so far I have not had to face that rejection yet.
CM: What motivated you to write and release I Need Therapy, and how has it changed lives?
GW: I Need Therapy started out as a journal, and when I started it out I didn’t intend to write a book. I didn’t intend for it to be a book, but it just came about that once I started doing research, talking to people, I started putting it into book form around 2000. I seriously started working on it between 2000 and 2002. What motivated me to go ahead and do it and finish it up was when Hurricane Katrina hit in August 2005, and at my job we were out of work for a year because they were going to renovate the casino from top to bottom. I took that year, I focused, and put it into my book. I completed it between 2005 and 2006. We went back to work in August 2006. My book is so newly released; it was just released in July of this year, and I get such satisfaction when I get emails and phone calls from people. I work at the casino at the Beau Rivage. I am a table games dealer, and I work from nine to five. I had a lady from Pensacola who purchased a copy of my book from me at the Sister to Sister Expo, [which was held at the Mobile Convention Center in September]. Actually, someone purchased it for her; so she didn’t actually purchase it herself; she was at the expo, but I didn’t get a chance to meet her. She came into my job, and she wanted her book signed. She came to me, and she said, “This book has really inspired me as a woman. I feel like every woman in the world needs to read this book.” I get such a sense of satisfaction when people come to me and say, “Wow! I really needed that. It helped me.” For me, when I started writing the book, it actually started out as a journal. I was going through so much in my past and when I was younger, dealing with relationships, love, finances, my health, I was going through so much. Some of the things I would put up with, and like I said, this book primarily deals with relationships, and at the time I was going through so much with relationships. I would always say to myself, “Man, I need therapy. I really need some therapy.” So I started keeping a journal, and I named my journal I Need Therapy. I felt that at the time, it was really important for me to document my feelings because as time went on, I grew and learned from that experience, I could look back and see where I had my growth. It was all documented. So, I feel like it is important to put your feelings on paper. I don’t care if it is just a thought or something. Put it down, write it down; you can always go back later and say, “Hey, I’ve grown from that. I’ve changed.” That’s what it did for me; so that was my therapy—my writing was my therapy. That’s how I came up with the book title I Need Therapy. So, I’ve been doing my research, everything that is in there. There is a lot that reflects about me, my past, things that I have gone through, lessons I have learned in life, but there is also lessons from other women because I have that motto—Women, we share a common bond. It doesn’t matter your race, background, how much money you make, we all go through some of the same issues, whether it is relationships, money matters, and health. So I feel that we as women should bond together. We can all learn from each other. We can learn something from somebody else’s experience, and that’s what this book is all about. At some point in time, we all need therapy. Therapy can be anything, whatever works for you, that can be your therapy. This is my first book, and I’m working on my second one. My second book is called Searching for Sanity. It is based off of the actual events that happened in I Need Therapy, but I go into details, I create fictional characters around the stories that are in I Need Therapy. It is amazing. I plan on having it done, completed, and published in Spring 2008. I’m actually finished up with everything. I just don’t want to push it too close to this project. I want to fully devote my time into promoting this one before I get out and start trying to promote Searching for Sanity. It’s good. It is a fiction novel.
CM: Has your level of writing changed from this project to the next one?
GW: I don’t want to be put in that category of being just an African-American writer or author. I try to be flexible and write what everybody can understand. No matter what your race, background, so you can understand. It is simple so everybody can understand it.
CM: What were the easiest/hardest parts about writing I Need Therapy and Searching for Sanity?
GW: The publishing process was fairly simple. The hardest part was getting it all together and just really focusing because sometimes I get to the point where I can write, I have this sperks where the only thing I want to do is just write. I don’t want to do anything else. I don’t want to read. I just want to write. I can write for 2-3 days straight with the exception of going to eat, doing the necessity things. I can get up, go feed my dog, and I’m right back on the computer. Things will just come to me. Then I will go through that phase where I get a burnout, and it’s like I can’t do this and it may be two or three months before I go back to it. It just comes in sperks. Since I published my book I have so many people come to me and say, “You know what? I started writing a book.” Everybody starts writing a book, but we never finish it. I started writing other books before, but I never finished it. So, I think the hardest part is just getting yourself focused and say hey, I’m going to do this; I’m going to complete it. This book was so important to me. The day I finished my last page, when I knew, hey, this is it, when that last paragraph went in I prayed and I cried and I said, “Lord, please let this book serve the purpose that I meant and wrote it for.” It was just like such a sense of relief that just came over me because I’ve been working on this for so long, and it was so important. It was the first, but it is the biggest project for me because I open up so much of myself in this book. I make myself so transparent in this book. It’s like hey there are some things in there. I said to myself, “Do I really want people to know this?” But in order for it to serve the purpose that I’m writing it for I have to tell it all. I have to open myself up and say hey, this is me. I talk about everything in this book. I talk about my experience with breast cancer. I love talking about my book. I love to talk about this book.
CM: As a currently single woman, have you faced criticisms from married couples after I Need Therapy was released?
GW: I don’t claim to know everything. I can only tell you about me, what I know, and what other people have told me. So, I’m not an expert, and I’ll say that to anybody. I’ve been married five times, and I’ve been divorced five times. In some cases, being in a situation like that you take a lot of criticism from some people who say How can she..., she’s been married five times...You take the criticism, but at the same time you have to know what you can and can’t deal with in your own home. For me, it’s always been easier to say hey, I feel like I’m not being treated like I should be treated. I’m not getting the respect in this situation that I should get. A lot of times a situation will start out one way will end up something totally different. So I can only tell you about my experiences and what other people tell me. I have been married and divorced five times. So I haven’t always been single, though I’m single now. One thing I believe in is life is too short to be in a situation where you’re not happy. If it comes to a point where I hear women say all the time, hey I’m sticking in there, I got to hang in there because of the kids. I don’t have any kids, and maybe if I did have kids I could probably see what they’re saying. Because I don’t have kids, I feel like I should get the same respect and treatment from you that I give to you, that I put into my marriage. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not without fault, and I’m not putting blame on anybody that I’ve ever been with or been married to. It takes two. I have my faults and weaknesses because I’m a little bit short on patience. So that may have had a lot to do with it, but I’m working on it. That is a weakness.
CM: Do you have any future speaking engagements or other upcoming events?
GW: I’m working on some things in my area now. I’m also working on doing interviews with a couple of magazines over in Jackson, Miss. I [recently] did a speaking engagement at the Lighthouse Apostolic Church in Grand Bay. They had a program for breast cancer awareness month, and I actually met the lady who coordinated it. I met her at the Sister to Sister Expo. She bought a copy of the book, and she asked me to come out and talk about the book and speak about my experience with breast cancer. I had a great time there. I just love getting out and talking to people and meeting people. I love it. It’s a lot of fun. You learn things about people because it’s like when people read my book and things that they may not have told anybody else, they feel free to open up to you and say hey I had my experience with this and I tried to hide it and I never wanted to talk to anybody about it because I was ashamed of it. Sometimes it helps to talk to other people. It really does.
CM: How has being an author and your works changed your life and the lives of others?
GW: I have been very fortunate to have a job that I enjoy as a part-time casino table games dealer. I work about three to four days a week from nine to five, making $50,000 a year. That gives me a lot of time to focus on my writing and myself to do other things I want to do with my writing and getting my work out there. I’ve been very blessed and fortunate enough to have a job where I can do that. I enjoy what I do because I meet a lot of people. Being an author is still new to me. It seems like everyday people start to recognize you. For example, I would have people who purchased a copy of my book outside of my area, and they would come through the casino just to meet me. It’s starting to be real big right now. I didn’t expect for it to be like this this soon. It’s great because people would walk up to you and say hey I like the chapter about [this and that], when you talked about this person, you were talking about me. It’s great. I love it. One of my original reasons for writing I Need Therapy was to encourage and educate women to make better decisions in their everyday lives, not just with their relationships but with their health and their financial matters. I think that it is important, especially for the younger generation of women to realize that the decisions that they make right now are going to have an impact on the person that they become later on in life. I can look back now and say hey I’m happy with where I am but I had to work so hard to get her because I didn’t have that education. I finished high school, went a year of community college, and dropped out. I decided to go into the military, this is what I’m going to do, and I’m going to make a career out of it. I went into the military, did that for about four to five years, and decided that wasn’t the right move for me. So when I got out, it was a little bit harder to get those good paying jobs. I had to sometimes take whatever just to pay the bills and make ends meet because you don’t always luck up and fall into a job. I’m blessed and fortunate right now that I did end up getting into the casino industry as a part-time casino table games dealer. I do quite well. I work about three to four days a week from nine to five, making about $50,000 a year, but it’s not easy. Had I went on and got my education, got a degree, maybe I wouldn’t have had to work as a sales clerk and take some of the abuse. I want women as well as men to know that the decisions that you make right now early on in your life are going to have an impact. You don’t think about it when you’re so young. You really don’t think what I do right now is going to impact me later. Sometimes we don’t think about that, and I didn’t think about that. Right now I wish I had taken that time, gone on and got my education so I wouldn’t have had to struggle and just take whatever is out there in order to pay the bills. That is the one thing that I think is really important. People often ask me, “How do you write like you do when you haven’t had any formal education in writing or anything like that?” I write from the heart. I write what I feel, and fortunately enough there are editors out there who can correct those little mistakes, but at the same time, I feel like education is a background. You really need that education, and from that you can pretty much do what you want. You have choices when you have that education, and when you don’t you’re limited.
website: www.glendawallace.com
email: glendawallace@glendawallace.com
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